Trump talking points for an Exultant Easter
Jesus first, owning the room a close second
Nothing says Easter more than having the right talking points to dunk on your family members.
Talking about Trump on Easter is similar to starting a conversation with “are you still beating your wife”, but if we MUST go there, let’s get deeeeeeeeep (copyright WhiteBat):
FIRST: the facts
Most people heard that Trump was arrested, he is evil, murders hamsters, etc. The bigliest takeaways from the court case at the most BASIC level:
Prosecutors went out of their way to target Trump.
how do you know they targeted him? The last Manhattan DA did not press charges on Trump, even though the evidence against him was available for almost SEVEN years. FEDERAL charges were not brought on the same facts. BRAGG HIMSELF did not bring charges for almost three years!
The indictment was as limp dick as Mitt Romney at a BLM rally. Even JOHN BOLTON thought the indictment was pathetic…
JOHN BOLTON, a guy who wants to bomb brown people 24/7 thinks a legal proceeding against the guy who did not let him turn all of the middle east into a parking lot is a sham.
The 34 counts are essentially one count but using laundry list persuasion to try and sway the public that Trump is GUILTY!
Laundry list persuasion is what mitwits use to convince other mitwits that someone did something bad. Trump’s indictment is 34 counts of one crime…but 34 COUNTS!!!! OMG!!!! He’s the worst! He MUST be guilty, he did 34 felonies!
If they had ONE or TWO solid charges, they would stand on those. They do not, so they are saying you are stupid, you will believe this is bad.
You can indict a ham sandwich. Most indictments take 15, 30 minutes most. It took them TWO MONTHS to indict Trump.
This could go on for pages. For two excellent breakdowns with more talking points, see this and this by Jonathan Turley (A Democrat)
SECOND: The fun stuff
Let’s say Trump comes up after your lib tard Uncle has a few Bud Lights, because HE’S A MAN ;)
That’s where you have to decide:
Do you change the conversation, OR
Have some FUN?
When talking about Trump, it’s best to keep it light and fun. The guy is a Billionaire former President married to a model, let’s not get too pitch forky here.
1. The irony of Trump being arrested for a political persecution during holy week
“It’s pretty IRONIC that Trump was arrested for nothing during Holy Week. Kind of like Jesus. I’m not saying he’s the second coming of the Messiah, but…it’s definitely INTERESTING”
“Poor Democrats arrest Trump during holy week and can’t even crucify him like they want. Must be tough seeing someone you want dead walking around.”
“The Trump Jesus similarities are crazy. Heck, even his Judas, Michael Cohen, is Jewish!”
“Trump was probably losing the nomination to DeSantis. Good on Democrats to resurrect his campaign during Holy Week, especially since most are atheist and only pretend to be Christian during the holidays.”
2. Being obsessed with Trump
“it’s interesting you still talk about Trump. I thought you obsession with (fill in the blank from middle or high school) was excessive but not SEVEN years excessive.”
“It’s interesting you still talk about him, kind of like you are into him. It’s cool if you are, it’s 2023, but maybe be comfortable about it. Again it’s ok he’s a handsome charming, successful guy.”
“Just suck his dick already. Take his cock, cup his balls, and enjoy it, because you clearly want to.”
OR
“Just suck his dick already”
“OH MY GOODNESS JUST PUT HIS MUSHROOM SHAPED COCK IN YOUR STUPID MOUTH AND SUCK ON IT. DM HIM ON TRUTH SOCIAL AND SAY DEAR PRESIDENT TRUMP I WANT TO HATE SUCK ON YOUR PENIS IS THAT OK, SINCERELY YOU!!! SORRY GRANDMA!”
3. The fact that the worst human beings all hate Trump
“Even wonder why your opinions line up with the worst human beings of the last twenty years? You ever wake up and think wow, Dick Cheney, Iraq war provocatier, once shot a guy in the face, and we both agree on Trump. HUH.”
“Pretty WEIRD that all your opinions on Trump are the same as the New York Times, which lied us into the Iraq war and spreads hoaxes faster than Kamala Harris can uncomfortably giggle.”
“It’s such a COINCIDENCE that all your opinions match up perfectly with CNN, MSNBC, The Huffington Post, Politico, and the New York Times. Crazy.”
“Remember when Trump got impeached for saying we should look into Ukrainian corruption, then two years later we sent Ukraine over $100 billion and Congress refuses to audit it? Probably just a coincidence.”
“Pretty interesting that your opinions all line up perfectly with George W. Bush, Joe Biden, Dick Cheney, President Obama, Mitch McConnell, and Chuck Schumer.”
“Funny how Putin and Biden jail their political opponents but Trump is the Putin stooge.”
GO forth and have FUN with it!
Easter is a time of re-birth, literally and figuratively. Enjoy the time with family and friends, and praise God and Jesus for loving us conditionally.
Remember, the crowd (aka family) will be in the same mood as you. Keep it light! After all, joking and mocking someone is a joyous event.