My roast of transgenders, women, and BLM

Roasting yourself and others is the American Way

(from timesofisrael.com, the Roast of Anne Frank)

“Laughing at yourself brings you one step closer to freedom”- Jeff Ross to a group of white prisoners

After that quote, Jeff talked to one who had a swastika tattooed on his stomach. The inmate said he was in for 99 years (or something like that). Jeff said he should get 6 million for every swastika tattoo (or something like that).

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. I notice most times I get jammed up or frustrated, I need to laugh at myself. Take yesterday.

I was stuck in court well past 5 pm, which for a government worker is hell. Work past the stated time?!? What is this, a for profit job?

There I was, watching two legendary attorneys argue a motion while the defense attorney I was opposing in a few minutes was trying to sweet talk me about his alcoholic client. Why would I want to be anywhere else in life?

It was so ridiculous, I had to laugh, smile, then tell the guy your client was drinking vodka red bulls, the offer remains, then ignore him and watch the older attorneys battle it out while my judge looked at his watch.

People take themselves too seriously. It’s my biggest beef with the all the trans/feminist/BLM stuff, outside of the burning of cities, mutilation of kids, and how hard it was in 2016 to find a date under 200 pounds.

Let’s start with the trans movement, a group of people who cut off their genitals to get likes on their instagram accounts.

I had a female gym teacher that looked like Mark McGuire. The older I get, the more I respect her for dressing and having his haircut but not telling us all about it on a daily basis. She was tough and made fun of the most of the guys for being pussies when running, we loved her.

It feels like today’s trans people are lesbians who need a good psychiatrist, or gay men who need to move to Australia. If you want to wear a dress by all means wear a dress, just do it 600 feet from a school. Wear that dress proudly at work, because the FBI celebrates diversity.

I don’t understand the women’s movement. Guys are disgusting, why would you let a bunch of us run through you like a Kardashian during NBA all star weekend?

Guys will go days without showering, reek of booze, and six to eight (ok five to six) inches of latex is your biggest concern?

Modern women could be forgiven for being communist if they weighed less. I know smoking kills, but does it also have to kill my penis’s ability to get hard looking at you? The birth rate is down, don’t add my penis to that list.

Seriously though, we need to stop normalizing fat women. If things continue this way, streets will need to repaved every year after the women’s march, and taxes are already too high. On the other hand, maybe that’s how we fill all the pot holes.

Trump is running again, which is bad news for any city in which criminals run from armed police, which is all of them. I already feel bad for the city in which a crackhead tries to be ghetto Usain Bolt to an armed police officer after committed a string of felonies.

BLM is the guy licking his tongue behind a tree anytime a black man dies. I work in a county where black kids are murdered by black kids every day, which somehow is not politically expedient. One would think making jokes about kids dying is hard, but apparently not as hard as getting Al Sharpton to attend one’s funeral.

We all have differences in life in how we were raised, what we look like, and what we complain about online. The least we can do is laugh about it. The most we can do is share this substack post with our friends and family.