Luck is preparation meets opportunity meets OnlyFans
A lawyer's journey to sex work
(Jazmen Jafar, via Yahoo News)
Sometimes life throws you lemons. When you receive those lemons, squeeze them together while holding them over your boobs and live stream it on OnlyFans.
Life is funny. It’s similar to what
says - you only get what you want when you don’t care or need it.I was minding my own business when my one tweet about modern women being broken went viral.
I was minding my own business when I stumbled onto Jazmen Jafar.
Jazmen is not her REAL name, guys. It’s her OnlyFans Name. She used to be a lawyer, but as Yahoo News reports, she’s now an OnlyFans STAR.
When I die, I want to come back as me. Too much to ask?
Let’s break down all the intentional and unintentional comedy this story has to offer….
(Jazmen, via Yahoo again)
1. Mainstream media writing a puff piece about women choosing sex work over careers.
There is no better example of modern women being broken than a LAWYER quitting her job to suck on dildos for up to TWELVE HOURS A DAY.
What does the news think of this? FEMALE EMPOWERMENT. WHAT A STRONG WOMAN.
Cannot make this up if I tried. This is asinine. Being a lawyer is a bad career choice for many. Going into sex work…not exactly an improvement. Yes she is making more now than she did as a lawyer. Congrats.
Has she ever sucked on a dildo for twelve hours a day for a year?
Guessing no. Really hoping no. In fact I hope no one has ever in human history. Unless there are flavored dildos, that could be fun. Wouldn’t grape get boring though?
Here’s the direct quote:
"I was working at the law firm during the day and at night I would come home and film content," she said. "I'd film all weekend too. It was always awkward going into the office on Monday and colleagues would ask how I spent my weekend and I'd say, 'Just relaxing indoors,' when really I was filming myself sucking dildos or whatever."
What a wonderful timeline we are living in.
2. She named herself after Disney characters
Nothing says homage to a Princess and an Evil Sorcerer like quitting a noble career to spend twelve hours a day as a cam girl.
There’s also the unintentional comedy of someone being inspired to go into sex work and naming themselves after a Disney princess. If she went by Abu I could at least go well, Abu was a sassy monkey….but SOILING PRINCESS JASMINE by combining JASMINE WITH JAFAR?
How Dare She!!!
Disney probably had no comment given they were busy laying off 7,000 people today.
Worshipping demons….NGMI
3. “Jazmin” chose being on OnlyFans for freedom.
Here’s the quote:
"For me, it's a first resort, because I had a well-paid job that I could've done for the rest of my life. I chose this because I wanted freedom and happiness." (emphasis added)
Freedom eh? Freedom from…working? She mentions in the article she now WORKS MORE than she did as a lawyer.
Congrats to modern feminism, you have done it. A LAWYER thinks FREEDOM is being chained to her apartment, maybe literally, to play with herself for creepy dudes online.
Bravo.
4. Is this where all the lawyers are going?
Not totally related but every District Attorney’s office is having trouble hiring attorneys. Maybe we are losing them to sex work and unofficial legal advice for sex workers?
At some point I’ll either open my own defense shop or sell feet pics, so in a sense I understand why she made the decision. I draw the line at more than 60 minutes of foot dildo work.
5. Her poor mother and father
Here’s another gem:
She said that her family was shocked when she told them about being an OnlyFans creator; while they don't approve, Jafar said that they still love her.
What else were they supposed to say?
Take it from a lawyer - doesn’t matter how crappy of a lawyer you become, your parents LOVE telling people you are a lawyer. They tell people you are in law school, you are studying for the bar, you are OFFICIALLY a lawyer, where you work, etc.
Society still holds lawyers in high regard. It’s fading fast but it’s still a thing.
That family probably PAID for her to got to college and law school, only for her to turn around LESS THAN A YEAR LATER to deep throat bananas for a Sultan in Singapore….that being the guy’s Twitch handle.
(I assume Yahoo, being the commies they are, would have mentioned she paid off her student loans if she had any).
That poor dad and mom. I know middle eastern parents. Great people. Usually strict. They let their daughter go to a commie university, then a commie law school, now she shows her twat for $7 a month.
6. The comments
Here are a few of the funnier ones:
Her uplifting story truly captures the triumph of the human spirit.
Isn't technology wonderful? She can do all this without having to actually go out and stand on a street corner.
Who is interested in paying all of these girls? It's FREE all over the internet. All types, all levels of beauty, and for free! Where are all of these imbeciles coming from who want to pay girls who are just as random as anywhere else?!
Here are the first two comments:
What a person does to make a living is none of my business, but I do wonder if these articles (because it seems like I see at least one on yahoo a month) are somehow supported by only fans as a way to recruit and advertise. Never see any articles on how the person doesn’t make any money or any negatives at all. I am interested in the percentage of people with large success to people with little.
Usually, it's the entity getting a story out through a publicist. I started getting contacted when I hit 50,000 followers on TikTok. "We can help grow your base! Pay us, and we'll get news outlets to write about you!" So, in essence, it IS paid advertising. Whether this one comes from OnlyFans or the performer herself, it's highly unlikely a "reporter" (term used loosely) looked her up and decided to write a human interest story about her.
A few more, just because:
If she can cash in on her looks now, that’s great. She better be investing her money to make passive income because no law firm will hire her after OF unless they want a performer to jump out of a cake.
Lol, since when is being a lawyer
"respectable"?
Law and exhibition are about the same careers -
They're paid to get guys off;
They get paid in advance;
They get paid whether or not the guy gets off.
What do you think? Should EVERYONE quit their jobs and join OnlyFans? Is she making a smart decision?
More to come…pun intended….
NAMASTE,
KONG