Survive your Stalker
Everything you want to or do not want to know about stalking
(Peggy Klinke, you’ll read about her below. RIP. Image via google)
Stalking is one of the least reported and charged crimes in the USA.
Stalking frequently attaches to domestic violence, kidnapping, and eventually murder.
Bryan Kohberger was a stalker. Notice he was NOT charged with stalking, even though he surveilled the house AT LEAST twelve times prior to committing the murders. He also slid into one of the victim’s DM’s and was PERSISTENT.
One reason he may not have been charged is because stalking in Idaho carries less of a penalty than Burglary or First degree murder.
The most famous stalker of all time? Read to the end to find out.
January is stalking awareness month. Here is what to know:
What is stalking?
Stalking is like pornography or a BowTiedWhiteBat tweet, you know it when you see it.
Each jurisdiction is different, but generally speaking you have to be following someone AT LEAST two times. Repeated calls and texts, unwanted gifts, and of course, POPPING OUT OF THE BUSHES are all ways people stalk.
SPARC, a group dedicated to preventing stalking and helping stalking victims, gives great examples of stalking on their web page. I have worked with SPARC and they are fantastic.
Why is it rarely charged?
Stalking is hard to prove.
The advent of burner phones and apps that hide your phone number make it difficult to prove one person is harassing another. Is that weird number from your home county calling you ACTUALLY spam…or a stalker?
Is that person watching you through the window getting fresh air or about to murder you?
Law enforcement has ways to find out who is calling from the random numbers. However, the process takes time and many victims do not want to go through the process.
Stalking is one of the only crimes where the victim has to prove their case.
Example: flowers dropped off on your car. A classy significant other move…also a creepy stalker move. How do you prove who dropped off the flowers? Real life isn’t CSI - a business is probably not going to let you review footage, the person may have been wearing a mask, etc. If you file a police report with one instance, that’s NOT stalking.
Victims need to journal.
Mark the date, time, location, take pictures. With repeated contacts and suspicious flowers, police can go to the business and say we need that camera footage for a stalking case. Use SPARC and your local police department if you are concerned about being stalked.
Who stalks?
Stalkers come in all varieties. I usually saw ex boyfriends or husbands the most. I have never seen a guy say a female was stalking him, although it does happen…mostly to celebrities.
Some fit the creepy mold…most do not. They saunter into court, act polite, dress in a shirt and tie. They rarely bring the bush they leapt out from.
How does stalking usually proceed?
It is an escalation into horrific violence. Watch the whole video:
The murder of Peggy Klinke is hard to fathom but all too familiar. I had forgotten Peggy’s name and tried to find her by google. I could not for a while - it was article after article after article of other women that were stalked and murdered.
Peggy’s story is all too familiar and followed a familiar flow:
Attempts to get back together, threats, weird events, then one night they break in and murder the woman then kill themselves.
Random stalking does happen (see IDAHO MURDERER), but usually there is a connection.
What are your questions about stalking?
I received a few via twitter. Let’s dive in:
A: keep your phone off and at home; wear a mask at all times; drive someone else’s car; sew air tags into her clothes. I advise against ALL of these actions. Even though around 40% of murders are unsolved, I don’t suggest you kill anyone.
To sum up the above: do the opposite of the Idaho murderer, including not killing anyone.
Hoping that tweet was a joke Perun…
A: 1,000 texts a day signal a stage 5 clinger.
Other than that, you probably have to follow the above protocol of document, document, call police. Stalkers are tough to shake without police intervention.
SPARC says around 11% of stalking situations last for greater than five years.
Court cases usually do give victims space, but if a stalker wants you…they will ignore a judge.
Q: what are sneaky ways people stalk?
A: air tags! This is more for random sociopaths, but you'll occasionally get the divorced parent who sews them in the kid’s backpack or places the bottom of mom’s car. A few celebrities have been stalked via Air Tag.
What to do? Have an iPhone, stay vigilant, date and marry better people. Good luck with ALL of those.
Final thoughts
Stalking is a RED FLAG in my cases. I go on high alert when I read police reports with the signs (constant calls, showing up at work, finding the air tag under the car). I have seen multiple murders as a result of stalking. There’s usually a history of DV accompanied by stalking.
The most famous stalker of all time?
How do you think he knew where to be the night of the murders?
Others have mentioned that OJ was a stalker, including one of Nicole’s ex boyfriends.
Be vigilant if you think you are being stalked, you never know what that can lead to.
Questions? Concerns? Hit me up in the comments or on twitter at BowTiedKong.
Namaste,
KONG