Do the thing today that you don't want to do

But it's a holiday weekend!

The last week has been my least favorite since my son’s mother’s passing

THAT is how bad the extent of my nicotine use and abuse was. On top of that, I started feeling sick late Thursday, Friday was mostly worthless, and yesterday I was a walking corpse. Feels like a COVID related thing, dulled taste, lethargic, etc. Either way, woof. Going through withdrawal plus being sick WITH a four year old son?

Pain.

I was a pile of elementary school sloppy joe’s all week

Could barely focus, mind was ALL over the place. My brain was like “hey, we can work better if you do that thing you are not doing. Why are you not doing that thing you like to do? It’s really easy. Just go to the gas station, it’s $8, you have $8, and then you open the can, and take one and put it in your upper lip. That’s it, that’s all you have to do and I’ll function like I was before.”

It was awful. I KNEW my brain was lying to me, while at the same time acknowledging…there was an easy way out of this.

My brain has been malfunctioning for weeks, maybe months