Beating the Sunday Scaries

It's still the freaking weekend, stop being a loser about tomorrow

I used to waste time with my Sunday Scaries. You all have heard of them or have them currently. Obviously rich ANONS like @bowtiedbull probably do not because he/they (can one person travel through time? Who built the machine?!?) are rich and can do whatever they want tomorrow. LUCKY FOR US that includes dispensing invaluable investment advice that seems to consistently work and come true. $100 for the substack is stealing.

Back to the Sunday Scaries. Big Cat is the lead Scary master even though he must be rich by now and a quick twitter search produces hilarious pictures of someone who looks like they have the Sunday Scaries, like this guy:

I imagine this involves realizing you ran out of hair gel, and or the recruit you were trying to buy off takes ETH and your bag guy only has Tether.

back to the point of Sunday Scaries - they RUIN hours of very productive time where you could be preparing for the upcoming week, practicing your speaking in a mirror like I tweeted about days ago, or anything else but sitting there stressed out about nothing. Let’s break down why you probably have them and ways to alleviate them to get back to productivity.

Why are you scared during the weekend? Back in my day, I would drink Friday night, wake up Saturday and pound coffee, then drink Saturday night, usually with mixed drinks and caffeine, then pound coffee Sunday AM and afternoon. The result? Looking like whoever that minx is next to Carson Daly for seven to ten hours.

Alcohol and caffeine give you anxiety. In combination, they also help make you lazy as fuck. Sure, you might have been productive making plans after that beer, and maybe coffee helps you kick start your AM with a giant poop while shit talking on twitter. Mix the two? Scaries AF. If you are reading this now and are like, dude, this is not helping, I’m already fucked…well that’s too bad. But for some of you trying to drink off your scaries, that’s called a delayed scaries and makes your Monday one long rim job and you will not be receiving.

Cut back on the alcohol unless you literally have nothing planned the next day. I know, I know, but it works. If you are trying to get rich in the Jungle, it is ok to blow off steam but you should be focused on getting rich first.

Caffeine - use what you need but have a cut off time. I usually only consume until 9 or 10 AM if I had 7-8 hours of sleep, otherwise I’ll toss in another cup of coffee/energy drink no later than one PM. Caffeine has a half life of eight hours (shoutout to whoever wrote that tweet in the Jungle), so you go to bed still jacked up and anxious. Outside of the FBI closing in on you for going along with their plot, you probably do not have that much to be anxious about on a Monday. How often were you nervous, went into work…and it was fine? Almost every time? Exactly. Relax, drink less caffeine.

Other drugs: Not sure what to tell you but definitely do not do cocaine on a Sunday, and if you spent all weekend doing cocaine you are NGMI. Those are not scaries, those are terrors. Adderall probably in the same sentence, but lower case.

Now to the REAL REASON you have the scaries: procrastination. You probably put off everything you did/did not want to do starting Thursday night. Future you took control of present you, and present you fucked future you. We’ve all been there. Someone texts you, answer back, 45 minutes later it is 4 PM. Well, NO TIME LEFT FOR PROJECTS. It spirals into Friday when most of the office stops caring, you go to happy hour…and turn around on Sunday. You feel terrible, you spent too much money, you refuse to look at a bank statement or see what you texted that cute girl at 1 AM who never responded…

AND YOU ALSO DID NOTHING PRODUCTIVE. You place looks like hell, you feel and look like hell, and 1.5 days of work awaits you on Monday. That’s your real problem…and the cure to the scaries.

Just. Do. Something. Unlike a politician, you are rewarded in life for doing something. Start small, go from there. Applaud yourself for taking out the garbage. Text that girl seventeen more times to let her know how you felt last night was because of the diet coke and baby powder you snorted. Be nice to yourself. Hey, you checked your work email for ten minutes. That’s a win.

The key to beating the scaries is productivity, early and often. How often do you dread something that will take forever…but is done in fifteen minutes? Exactly. Most of the time just wake up, power through the bad decision (or plow the bad decision again, you probably will not be “keeping in touch” and still drunk morning sex is great), and be a productive member of society. One of the stoics wrote about how man was not meant to lay in a warm bed all morning. Seneca? Either way, he’s dead and you are alive, act like it and take advantage of it.

To recap:

-Less booze and uppers

-Do something/some things productive Sunday AM while being nice to yourself

-Morning sex

If you do these three things, I guarantee you will have more time for creative projects. If you need proof, you just read it.

-BTK

PS - this is EVERGREEN CONTENT so no need to look at a clock and wish you read this twelve hours ago, which you would not have anyways given it was not written. Only BTB is a time traveler.

PPS - Get to work early on Monday. This will solve 95% of your non-herpes related issues.