Avoiding Jail - Neighbor dispute edition
Hatfield v. McCoy is more common than one realizes
Neighbor fights are common at the misdemeanor and felony level. A recent famous one was Senator Rand Paul’s neighbor re-arranged the Senator’s rib cage.
It is easy for a neighbor dispute to escalate into violence and you ending up in jail. Here are a few common neighbor disputes and how to resolve them legally before the fists come out (even BowTiedKrav avoids fighting).
BOUNDARY DISPUTES: most neighbor fights are over a few inches, hopefully not in the other’s wife. Boundary disputes are easily solved. First, have a survey done. You can DuckDuckGo or Google your county. It may cost a few hundred chicken nuggets. However, get the map and bring it to your local Sheriff’s office. Have THEM enforce your boundary line. Avoid:
-Taking down the fence that encroaches on your property;
-Using a shovel to dig a new boundary line;
-punching them in their smug, stupid face
DUMPING ON ONE’S LAND: another common neighbor issue. One takes dirt or garbage and “puts” it onto the other’s land, most likely out of spite. These are usually in rural areas, making it tough to catch. A few ideas:
-lights on the property line. I had a plea agreement that turned on the defendant neighbor taking down his extremely bright property line lights; the lights kept the victim up at night. He showed me pictures, it looked like Field of Dreams. THAT was the sticking point to keep a guy out of jail - taking down his lights.
On that note, maybe dim them past 10…
-Another way to solve: install cameras. Rural wifi can be an issue, so look into Starlink. Here is the part where you say but KONG, I’m not willing to spend that much money to catch my neighbor being a dick. THEN FINE. AS BTB says, WINNERS ADJUST.
File a police report once you have the camera footage. Explain the situation, file a report, press the State’s Attorney to file dumping, trespassing charges. Usually the smaller areas have one State’s Attorney/DA, buy them a beer and explain the situation.
Neighbor bangs your wife
Don’t marry a whore in the first place. Problem solved. Or workout more, stop being a beta. Manslaughter was created for this scenario, FYI.
Neighbor is stealing my stuff!
Similar to the above - cameras are best. Everyone should have a few Ring cameras around. Watch, catch them, file a police report. If you think they stole your stuff, look into a PI. BowTiedCaiman is the DM for the job.
Questions? Concerns? THOUGHTS? DM me on Twitter @bowtiedkong